Arena (1989) isn’t one of those so-bad-it’s-good movies, nor is it an underappreciated gem. At most times (and I say this lovingly), it’s a load of crap.
But I enjoy the hell out of this movie.
Why? Because it captures a throwback spirit millennials like me (and Gen Xers) want to reconnect with.
Browsing Max or Netflix today, the production values look damn good and oh-so polished. Clean, lit, and perfectly budgeted, even the most basic streaming “TV drama” or genre film has seemingly stunning cinematography and designer props.
I should be rejoicing. My streaming cup runneth over with quality watch options.
But I bow to no algorithm. Who said quality is what I crave?
Arena harkens back to those glorious 80s and 90s when schlocky sci-fi was everpresent and goddamn fantastic.
Do you want to see a human step into a boxing ring, kick a poor man’s imitation of the rancor (Return of the Jedi) in the thighs, and punch it across the snout? Oh, you do.
Do you care if the dialogue is plain and uninventive? Normally, yes; in this case, no.
Despite looking like it was shot at some convention center over some weekends, ignoring that futuristic costumes become a matter of putting shiny on everything, there’s an excellent vehicle for enjoyable sci-fi here.
What is the Plot of Arena?
Thanks to a handicapping computer system, fighters from all over the galaxy compete in sanctioned Arena matches.
Steve Armstrong (Paul Satterfield) stumbles into the competition. With help from his friend Shorty (Hamilton Camp) and trainer Quinn (Claudia Christian), Steve is the first human in 50 years to compete for the championship.
But the conniving Rogor (Marc Alaimo) and his fighter, cyborg/alien Horn (Michael Deak), stand in Steve’s way.
Can Steve defeat Horn and become champion?
The Rest of the Main Cast Includes:
- Shari Shattuck as Jade
- Armin Shimerman as Weezil
- Charles Tabansi as Troy
- Brett Porter as Wayne
- William Butler as Skull
- Jack Carter as Announcer
- Dave Thompson as Doctor
- Grady Clarkson as Commissioner Dent
- Ken Clark as Marcus Diablo
- Diana Rose as Space Lady In Nightclub
Why Should I Watch This?
If Arena’s Japanese movie poster can’t sell you on this film, you can stop reading now and return to your quality entertainment.
For the intrigued, let’s continue.
The film sets up a future so exotic its lead character is named Steve Armstrong.
I am curious to know what strategic advantage Armstrong gets from fighting in kneepads, an adult diaper, and a man-bra.
Still, Armstrong has the muscles and bravado for the big time, but there’s no way he’ll get there without silly streetwise sidekick Shorty.
Shorty is an alien. You know this because he’s a human/hobbit guy with four hands. This mind-bending effect most likely came to reality by someone standing behind the actor’s back, shielding their body from view, and extending their arms/hands into the frame.
Villain Rogor is so evil and dedicated to winning that he’ll loan out his girlfriend, Jade, to seduce and disable Armstrong.
The criminal mastermind’s sidekick is such a hairy-faced, twisted weasel that they just went ahead and named him that.
But these delightfully silly characters aren’t what you came for.
Arena depicts combat between a human (or sometimes two aliens) fighting in a boxing ring.
The sight of a grown-ass man beating down on a poor performer in a rubber suit (or are they puppets?) isn’t quite as comical as I wished it was, but it still gets me in a happy place inside.
The creature and makeup effects land somewhere near an episode of a Star Trek knock-off, but they grace the film with B-movie charm.
Horn, like Weezil, is literal. He looks like a cyborg hellspawn that wasn’t scary enough for the Doom video game franchise.
Other aliens took a reptile inspiration or, like Rogor, that human-with-a-different-colored skin approach, but it works.
But the film’s true strength is its go-for-fun setup. These days, fewer vehicles are willing to bare their flaws and bite down on the fun factor.
We step right inside the movie, a clear goal in mind, with a dopey hero who has to overcome conniving baddies.
Many modern screenplays get bogged down in overreach. They try to set up deep, long-winded character arcs. They go for the throat with shock value; they have many artistic things to say within a generic vehicle.
It’s another essay, but part of that problem could be from so many directors and writers wanting to say something more profound in the pieces they are actually given.
But Arena’s only goal is to entertain, and it gets there and nowhere else.
Go Watch Arena
Arena is set in the year 4038, but it’s so late 80s that it commits to the era’s ultimate action staple: tossing someone through a glass window.
It is capable of cringeable scenes and odd moments. It’s nowhere near brilliant cinema.
But it’s a just-right production for those who want to return to classic second-billing sci-fi.
Even if it has a hokey delivery, the spirit of a fantastic fight to the finish will entertain you.
Arena is rated PG-13 and directed by Peter Manoogian.
You can stream it free with commercials on Tubi.
You can watch the trailer here.
Disclaimer:
This review’s factual information was gathered from online sources like Wikipedia, IMDB, or interviews. Misrepresentations and errors are possible but unintentional.
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